I’ve Heard of Vertical Initiatives for Business, But This Sounds More Like a Horizontal Initiative

Posted By Tempest

I make it a habit to read our business website early on Sunday mornings because that’s when posts are updated by a member of our staff.  Sometimes they need to be … edited.pumpkins

I hope I was the only one who read:
“Join us all this month: we’re providing FREE Tricks and Treats.”

Uhm…let’s change that wording  just a little  please.
I have enough problems with the police dept regarding our parking overflows. I certainly don’t need a vice arrest added to my business problems.

Oct 11th, 2016

It’s the REALLY Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown: A One-Act Play about Planning

Posted By Tempest

Setting:  Tempest and Thunder are flopped on living room chairs on a Sunday evening.

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Tempest
: Okay, I can hang on until we take our vacation. Remind me – when does it start?

Thunder:  The 21st, and then we’re off for 10 days.

Te:    Okay, but you still think we can’t really afford to go anywhere, right?

Th:    We’ll go away during that time overnight for our anniversary, maybe. But really, it’s a ‘staycation.’ We can get some things done here. And we should really do a few things that might be fun around here or in the city – day trips or day-long activities.

Te:    Any ideas?

Th:    Nope, you?

Te:    Nope…

Th: *quiet*

Te: *quiet*

Th:    What do you want to do, Marty? (He has stolen this line from Tempest.)

Te:    I don’t know; what do you want to do, Marty?

Th:    We…could…hump a pumpkin…

Te:    *blink* *blink* Wha?

Th:    I don’t know. You asked me, and all I can think of is hump a pumpkin.

Te:    … *blink*… but it has to be a local pumpkin, right? Cuz we’re not going anywhere.

Th:    Oh, yeah. Local pumpkins only.

Te:    *blink* *blink* We’re going to come up with something else, right?

Th:    Maybe…probably…we’ll just use that one as a placeholder until we think of something else.

Te:    But…if we don’t think of something else?

Th:    …then we’re checking out the neighbors’ porches – we’ll see what’s still hanging around.

Te:    *sigh* Okay, well…at least we have a plan…

 

and Scene

Oct 8th, 2016

This Guy

Posted By Tempest

Two years.IMG_0292

Two years.

Can’t be.

Still thinking that I’ll be able to pick up the phone and convince you to drive to somewhere crazy, like Massachusetts, just to pick pumpkins.

You still remember me, right?  You haven’t forgotten me, right?

I don’t know when I’ll see you again, but keep remembering me.  I won’t forget you.

 

Oct 2nd, 2016

I Could Have Been Mrs. George Clooney If It Weren’t For My Little Sister

Posted By Tempest

Dreams…such odd dreams…

Sally Field and I were riding around our small village in a golf cart, kicking back and having some fun. We’d ride to the ice cream parlor and then over to the music store where we would sift through the newly arrived 45s and 33s. It was a small village, not much to do. Except on Saturday nights when the tiny movie theater got in the latest release. Quiet, peaceful life.

Now, Sally and I each had a crush these two guys, friends. They didn’t have eyes for us or really anyone because they were so busy trying to make their Spaghetti-Os factory a success. It seems that Brad and George were having a little trouble getting all the Os the same size. 

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Anyhoo, like I said, Sally and I had a crush on these guys, and we were trying to get their attention. Sally came up with the brilliant plan of inviting them over for a meal, and since they loved pasta so much we would serve them their favorite meal. Now this is where it gets strange: Sally bought one of those Veghetti machines. She made “pasta” out of zucchini, yellow squash and acorn squash. We covered it in sauce and cheese and voila! Dinner! Now, the guys loved the meal, but when they asked about the actual pasta because it didn’t taste quite like what they were expecting, Sally showed them the Veghetti.

That’s where things took a downward turn. Brad and George flew into a rage and accused us of trying to undermine their fledgling Spaghetti-O business with a new-fangled machine that made perfectly shaped and healthier pasta every time. They threw down their napkins in disgust and slammed the door behind them on their way out. Sally and I were crestfallen. I heard shortly afterward that George had fallen for some international lawyer, and I never heard from him again.

Now…my point
— and I do have one —
is that none of this would have happened at all if my sister, Ruby, hadn’t shared her success with her new Veghetti on Facebook yesterday.
And so the moral of this sad tale is that little sisters will always try to mess up a good thing for you with George Clooney.

Sep 29th, 2016

I Would Like To Thank The Academy…

Posted By Tempest

th

Really odd dream last night.

Apparently I sold my house and hired a moving company.

When the moving team arrived, it was headed up by Sir John Gielgud.

He wasn’t very good at the job; the fact that he’s been dead for a long time probably didn’t help him.

Here’s my question, though: If I sue his moving company for damages, can I get his Oscar?

Thunder says that while I might be able to get the statue, he doesn’t think the Academy will actually award me Best Supporting Actor for “Arthur” as compensation.

Damn!

Sep 18th, 2016
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