I Could Have Been Mrs. George Clooney If It Weren’t For My Little Sister

Posted By Tempest

Dreams…such odd dreams…

Sally Field and I were riding around our small village in a golf cart, kicking back and having some fun. We’d ride to the ice cream parlor and then over to the music store where we would sift through the newly arrived 45s and 33s. It was a small village, not much to do. Except on Saturday nights when the tiny movie theater got in the latest release. Quiet, peaceful life.

Now, Sally and I each had a crush these two guys, friends. They didn’t have eyes for us or really anyone because they were so busy trying to make their Spaghetti-Os factory a success. It seems that Brad and George were having a little trouble getting all the Os the same size. 


Anyhoo, like I said, Sally and I had a crush on these guys, and we were trying to get their attention. Sally came up with the brilliant plan of inviting them over for a meal, and since they loved pasta so much we would serve them their favorite meal. Now this is where it gets strange: Sally bought one of those Veghetti machines. She made “pasta” out of zucchini, yellow squash and acorn squash. We covered it in sauce and cheese and voila! Dinner! Now, the guys loved the meal, but when they asked about the actual pasta because it didn’t taste quite like what they were expecting, Sally showed them the Veghetti.

That’s where things took a downward turn. Brad and George flew into a rage and accused us of trying to undermine their fledgling Spaghetti-O business with a new-fangled machine that made perfectly shaped and healthier pasta every time. They threw down their napkins in disgust and slammed the door behind them on their way out. Sally and I were crestfallen. I heard shortly afterward that George had fallen for some international lawyer, and I never heard from him again.

Now…my point
— and I do have one —
is that none of this would have happened at all if my sister, Ruby, hadn’t shared her success with her new Veghetti on Facebook yesterday.
And so the moral of this sad tale is that little sisters will always try to mess up a good thing for you with George Clooney.

Sep 29th, 2016

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