Modern Tails: A One-Act Play about Easter Traditions

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Scene: Late Saturday evening, night before Easter Sunday, driving home

Tempest: Since you really weren’t religious as a kid, did your family celebrate Easter?

Thunder: Well, we didn’t go to church.

Te: Did your parents do the whole Easter Bunny thing?

Th: Uhm…sort of…we colored eggs

Te: Did the Easter Bunny visit you and leave you presents?

Th: Presents? Are there specific Easter presents?

Te: Of course – socks and underwear!  Duh!

Th: …and the religious significance of socks and underwear is…

Te: …I…don’t know…it’s just what we got in our baskets every year…

Th: …*blink*…Is it because Jesus was buried in just his socks and underwear behind the big rock?

Te: It has nothing to do with Jesus. It has everything to do with the Easter Bunny and jelly beans and chocolate bunnies.

Th: But why an Easter Bunny? Was a special bunny present at the crucifixion? And why does the Easter Bunny bring chocolate versions of himself for you to eat? Santa doesn’t do that. The Tooth Fairy doesn’t put big marshmallow teeth under your pillow so that more teeth fall out. What’s with the chocolate bunnies?

Te: You didn’t get chocolate bunnies on Easter, did you.

Th: (sadly) No.     (brightly) But we did color eggs and we did search for them on Easter morning. There was no Easter Bunny. My parents gave us small bags of M&Ms – that’s all the chocolate we got. No presents. No holy socks or underwear. No chocolate bunnies.

Te: Well, at least you got colored eggs.

Th: Well, yes…but we weren’t allowed to eat them. We could search for them in the yard. Then we came in and ate regular, white, hard-boiled eggs because we weren’t allowed to eat the colored ones from the yard.

Te: Okay, so let’s recap: You colored eggs. Your parents hid them in the scummy, dirty yard and you searched for them. But you had to eat plain hard-boiled eggs once the search was over. No chocolate bunnies, but you did get small bags of M&Ms. No socks. No underwear. No church…Explain to me why you even bothered to color eggs if you really didn’t participate in any part of this thing?

Th: Because my parents didn’t want other kids to think we were different.

Te: Riiiiightttt. How did that work out?

Th: Not so much.

and Scene

Apr 8th, 2012

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