Bubble Tea: Now With More Snot

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Okay, so…Bubble Tea?

I recently read about Bubble Tea – a West Coast drink sensation originally from Taiwan. I only skimmed the magazine article in which it was explained so I didn’t fully understand what it was. When I saw a kiosk for Bobocino Bubble Tea in Seattle, I figured I should give it a try. I love tea. I love bubbles. How could this be bad?

Oh. My. God.

I requested Tea with Sweetened Milk. I could have had a fruity or spicy flavor, but I wanted to play it safe. I figured I’d start out with something I knew and then take it from there. (I could have gotten a Slurpee-like version also, but again, I went with what I thought was…iced tea.)

Then the young man behind the counter asked me something strange:

Young Man: What kind of Bobo do you want?

Tempest: Huh?

YM: Bobo…you know bubbles.

Te: Huh?

Okay, so I guess I should have read that magazine article a little more closely.

Young Man suggested that since it was my first time, I should choose the basic flavor – Tapioca – just to try it out. Um…okay.

But I’m…well…confused… Aren’t bubbles just bubbles? Isn’t he giving me some kind of iced tea with lots of bubbles – like carbonation – on top?

But no. Young Man hands me a 16oz plastic, clear cup – sealed on top – and a long, wide straw. He says I should shove the straw through the seal and drink the bobas through it. I then actually look at the cup. The bottom third of this cup is filled with black marble-y looking things. Huh?

I take a sip and am immediately surprised that one of these balls slides up the straw and into my mouth. It is chewy, a little slimy and…odd.

Now I’m no snot connoisseur, but I’m pretty sure that Young Man just gave me a cup of iced tea sweetened with large black snot. Shrek snot, if you will.

However, I am struck with a wonderful, wonderful thought. Out of the Westlake Center I run, run, run back to my hotel and up to the 36th floor, running into the room where Thunder is reading.

Tempest: Here. Taste this iced tea.

Thunder: (taking one look at this weird thing) No! You taste it.

Te: I already have. You should try it.

Th: No.

Te: You love me? You trust me?

Th: Yes…and absolutely not. Stop shoving that thing at me.

Te: Please?

Thunder takes it from me and very tentatively takes a sip. I’m nearly giddy as I watch a black boba slide up the straw and into his mouth. He suddenly looks as though someone goosed him. He looks sideways at the cup.

Th: Dude! Did you just feed me snot?

Te: Yes, yes I did.

Th: Dude!

After 10 years of marriage, I finally burned my one and only “You trust me?” on a cupful of snot. Soooooooo worth it.

Aug 31st, 2010

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