Reason #42 Why Tempest Won’t Survive The Apocalypse

Posted By Tempest

I’ve been trying to get my cherry tomato plant – loaded with fruit – to turn red.
My tomatoes won’t budge from yellow to red.
I’ve search the Internet for help. I’ve watered, pinched straggling vines, talked sweetly to it.
I’ve been really stressed and a little pissed that I can’t get what looks like ripe cherry tomatoes to turn red.

Showed this picture to one of my tomato-growing clients on the way out of work tonight.


Me: I don’t understand! My tomatoes are yellow. Why can’t I get them to turn red?

Client: *looking at pictures* Because you have yellow tomatoes.

Me: Yes, I know they’re yellow. That’s the problem. They won’t turn red! Why?

Client: *looking at me like I’m a 4-year-old* Because you have yellow tomatoes. You planted a yellow tomato plant.

Me: OH! *Yellow* tomatoes. That’s why when I tasted one last night, it was sweet and tasty. It’s *supposed* to be yellow.

Client: Yep, and by the look of them, they’re ready. You’re going to be eating yellow tomatoes for the next two weeks.


I gots me some skool smarts, but I am dumb as a rock about common sense things.
So, it’s okay…I’ll understand when you cut me loose from the group after the Apocalypse when I can’t offer anything useful for our survival.

Jul 25th, 2016

No Comments! Be The First!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent Enteries




Feed on RSS