Reason #42 Why Tempest Won’t Survive The Apocalypse

Posted By Tempest

I’ve been trying to get my cherry tomato plant – loaded with fruit – to turn red.
My tomatoes won’t budge from yellow to red.
I’ve search the Internet for help. I’ve watered, pinched straggling vines, talked sweetly to it.
Nothing.
I’ve been really stressed and a little pissed that I can’t get what looks like ripe cherry tomatoes to turn red.

Showed this picture to one of my tomato-growing clients on the way out of work tonight.

IMG_1324

Me: I don’t understand! My tomatoes are yellow. Why can’t I get them to turn red?

Client: *looking at pictures* Because you have yellow tomatoes.

Me: Yes, I know they’re yellow. That’s the problem. They won’t turn red! Why?

Client: *looking at me like I’m a 4-year-old* Because you have yellow tomatoes. You planted a yellow tomato plant.

Me: OH! *Yellow* tomatoes. That’s why when I tasted one last night, it was sweet and tasty. It’s *supposed* to be yellow.

Client: Yep, and by the look of them, they’re ready. You’re going to be eating yellow tomatoes for the next two weeks.

Duh!

I gots me some skool smarts, but I am dumb as a rock about common sense things.
So, it’s okay…I’ll understand when you cut me loose from the group after the Apocalypse when I can’t offer anything useful for our survival.

Jul 25th, 2016

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