Persians And Spartans And Pirates – Oh My!: A One-Act Play about Dreamy Computer Graphics

Posted By Tempest

Setting: Living Room, flipping channels on the TV

Tempest:        Hey, wait a minute! Back up, please. Isn’t that Gerard Butler?

At Berlin Film Festival 2011 - IMDB

At Berlin Film Festival 2011 – IMDB

Thunder:        Who’s Gerard Butler?

Te:      He’s THIS guy…you know from that pirate movie…with the abs…

Th:      *blink* *blink* Pirate movie with abs?

Te:      (struggling to find the right description) I haven’t seen the movie…he’s like…a pirate… or a …something… he wears a costume…he’s really good looking even though he’s swashbuckling…or something like that.

Th:      Is this a real movie or one you dream about every night?

Te:      No…but he IS dreamy and that IS a good idea…No! He’s in that movie… all the pirates run off a cliff or something?

Th:      (thinking) Are you talking about “300” – THAT movie?

Te:      Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah..

Th:      You’re right…you have NOT seen it!

Te:      Yea, but it’s this guy…and all the pirates follow him, right?

Th:      Not unless they’re Persian and Spartan pirates, no.

Te:      So he’s a Persian…or a Spartan…and he’s a dreamy pirate?

Th:      Second time you’ve said dreamy. AND NO pirates!

Te:      Okay, but I’ve seen trailers and pictures. He IS dreamy – he has lots of abs!

Th:      Yes, I believe you’re right – Gerard Butler is in ‘300.’ But he does not have *those* abs.     They’re CGI, right?

Te:      Oh, no, I’m sure the man worked out before filming!  He must have those 300 abs.

Th:      How many abs?

Te:      The abs…required for the movie…

Th:      Just a heads up: the movie is NOT about Gerard Butler’s 300 abs.

Te:      If he ate a slice of pizza, would he be down to 299 abs?

Th:      HE DOESN’T HAVE 300 ABS!!!   NO ONE HAS 300 ABS! AND THERE ARE NO  PIRATES!

Te:      Wow! Your head almost spun around 360 degrees there like in “The Exorcist.”

Th:      If we talk any more about dreamy Gerard Butler’s 300 abs, I think it might actually spin completely around! And not even in a CGI way!

Te:      Hee! THAT I would pay $12 to see.

 

and SCENE

Sep 4th, 2016

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