Archive for the 'WTF?' Category
I Haz a Boo-Boo…
Car Accident.
Don’t have one. OK?
Just, JUST, getting back to some sense of normal after nearly 2 months. Only in the past few days have I been able to get through the entire day with sleeping or icing or general agony-related lifestyle. Chiropractic and PT help.
I’ll think of funny things soon…hopefully…
Bury Me When I’m Dead and Gone…or When I Become Incontinent
Old. People.
I spend a good part of my day dealing with senior citizens. Most are very nice, some are cranky, and a few are downright scary. Like the woman who drove slowly into the metal-pipe handrail at the back of my building. I didn’t actually see her drive into it, but her car’s front [...]
I’m Not Violating the Dog If It Saves Me $35, Right?
Brinkley is a black Labrador Retriever. This is his puppy picture.
Very adorable, right? Right.
However, the maxim regarding Labs is “Watch Ears and Rears.” Their ears get full of gunk that has to be cleaned out regularly. Their rears also get full of…uh…gunk, of sorts. Specifically, their anal glands fill up and have to be expressed [...]
When You Color Outside the Lines…The Terrorists Win
Apparently, FEMA had a downloadable coloring book for children on its website. The coloring book was created and uploaded in 2003 to explain the correct responses to disasters in ways that children might understand.
What I don’t understand is… What fuckwad at FEMA thought “A Scary Thing Happened” was a good idea!? The book is filled with [...]
“Let me root, root, root for the home team. If they don’t stop a 2nd inning rogering, it’s a shame…”
If I had emptied my children’s college funds to buy Yankees season tickets this year, I would be nearly beside myself right now!
As it is, I passed on the opportunity to buy NY Mets season tickets since it would have been necessary to work as a bogus waitress in order to come up with the green.
I was [...]