Archive for the 'I’m really just weird' Category

The Monkey Days of Summer

Tempest -

            I’ve just read that it’s illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to monkeys in NJ zoos. I guess I’ll have to plan something else for Tuesday.

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Same Time, Next Year…

Tempest -

  I’m sitting at my computer, and my Mike Piazza Rookie card is staring down at me.     He looks so sad, knowing he’s not going into the Hall of Fame…again… Even though I know why, I ask, “Why so blue, Panda Bear?” Mike says, “Whatev” I crook my finger to call him closer […]

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I Think It Was Gandhi Who Said, “Be The Shoe You Want To See”

Tempest -

So I’ve been sick for almost 2 weeks with a pretty bad case of bronchitis. Feeling better each day now, and last night was one of the first times I ventured out in public in the last 2 weeks. I went to the grocery store. Standing over the peaches and plums, I witnessed an exchanged […]

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Hipster Addictions: A One-Act Play about First-World Problems

Tempest -

DAY 1 – MONDAY AFTERNOON, 4:30PM Setting: Outside the workplace of Thunder and Tempest Thunder is leaving work; Tempest is arriving Tempest is clearly distressed. Thunder: What’s wrong? Tempest: (agitated) I can’t find my IPod! I had it earlier. I can’t find it anywhere. Th: Where do you think you had it last? Te: I […]

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“Serpentine, Chewy! Serpentine!”

Tempest -

        Here’s my question about the new Star Wars trailer (Trailer #2 released today): Has Chewbacca been using “Grecian Formula for Wookies” for these 30-odd years? Harrison Ford should have seen this coming. He should have had a contract clause that at no time would a timeless, ageless Wookie be allowed to […]

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